6 Tips for When It’s Time to Limit Senior Driving

Deciding when to limit or stop a senior loved one's driving is never easy and can be a sensitive subject. For them, driving may represent freedom and independence, making the thought of having their car keys taken away a difficult pill to swallow.

Yet, it may be necessary for their safety and others, especially if you notice issues with their vision and reaction times on the road—which can lead to fender-benders or serious crashes.

Recognizing the signs early and knowing how to approach this touchy topic can help ensure your senior stays safe without feeling a loss of autonomy.

Approaching the Conversation About Retiring from Driving

The earlier you broach the topic about removing their car keys, the easier it will be for everyone. With some patience and well-chosen words, you and your loved one can answer the all-important question together: “How will we decide when it’s time for you to retire from driving?”

Visiting Angels caregivers have worked with many families as they navigate this difficult transition. While every family is unique, these tips may prove successful and can guide you through this delicate process:

1. Choose Your Words Carefully

A unilateral decision or ultimatum will likely result in your loved one shutting down all conversation. It’s vital to validate their feelings in ways that don’t feel disrespectful or patronizing.

Instead of words like “you need to stop driving” or “I’m going to take your keys away,” start an ongoing conversation using non-confrontational and non-judgmental words such as:

• “I think you'll be able to stay on the road longer if we agree on these choices.”
• “It looks like your driver's license will expire soon. Would you like to talk about how the grandkids can help you get around?”
• Maybe we could set you up an account with a rideshare service.”
• “You’ve worked hard your entire life. Now it’s your turn to be pampered with your own chauffeur.”

2. Ease into Discussions with Low-Stakes Questions

When you have a better idea of how your loved one feels, find ways to bring the topic of driving into everyday conversations:

• Around their birthday: “Let’s check the requirements for renewing your driver's license. Do you worry about passing the vision test or driving test?
  
  
• When the auto insurance bill is due: “It looks like premiums are going up again. Do you think it’s worth continuing to pay when you’re driving less?”
  
  
• When it’s time for car maintenance: “Is there anything new I should know about the car before I drop it off at the shop?”
  
  
• After riding with your loved one as a passenger: “The new LED headlights on other cars can be so bright. Does the glare make it hard for you to drive at night?”
  
  
• During doctor appointments: “Will this new medication affect concentration or reaction time?”

When you keep the focus on your loved one’s driving skills in specific situations rather than their age, they’ll know they can trust you to listen.

Related reading: How to Talk to Your Loved One About Driving, Giving Up the Car Keys

3. Compromise on Specific Driving Situations

An active aging parent may be receptive to gradually reducing their time on the road as their health needs evolve. For instance, you may be nervous about your elderly father who drives daily to visit friends and help neighbors with errands.

His vehicle is his lifeline, but how can you help keep him safe? Talk with him to reach a compromise that doesn’t quash the independence and social connections he values.

Your agreement might center on your father’s choice of three important driving needs, such as going to church, the grocery store, and a volunteer activity with friends. You can then ask him to commit to a few logical safety requests:

• His doctor must confirm that he is capable of driving and his medication does not affect his vision, reaction time, or other vital skills.
• He will drive only during daytime hours in mild weather.
• He’ll take familiar, low-traffic routes and avoid high-risk situations such as highway driving and busy intersections.

If you can reach a consensus like this when the worries first arise, you’ll both know the expectations and potential consequences.

Related reading: Transportation Resources Keeping Non-Driving Seniors on the Road

4. Take Family Dynamics Out of the Equation

When the parent/child caregiving roles are reversed, sometimes an outside voice can break through the anxiety your loved one is facing. Many older adults are more inclined to accept advice and decisions from perceived authority figures like doctors, attorneys, or faith leaders.

When bringing in third parties, avoid making it feel like an ambush or an intervention. Keep your loved one involved in the conversation and use non-confrontational and non-judgmental language.

Another option might be an online driving test or self-assessment. Several government agencies and insurance carriers offer free checklists or simulations via their websites:

• AARP Smart Driver™ online course
• AARP SafeTrip™ App
• AAA RoadWise Driver
• AAA Drivers 65 Plus Self-Rating Tool
• National Highway Traffic Safety Administration Self-Assessment
• Free DMV Practice Tests for Seniors Over 70

5. Be Ready for the Unexpected

If your loved one develops a memory disorder, the doctor may restrict driving soon after the diagnosis. But don’t get rid of their car keys or sell their vehicle right away. Confusion caused by dementia-related conditions can turn familiar objects into comfort items that help them feel normal.

If your aging father asks, “Where are my keys?” every morning, it’s OK to tell him where they are—if the vehicle is not drivable. For example, you could remove the spark plugs so the vehicle won’t start, allowing him to still get the comfort of having the keys. If he asks why the vehicle won’t start, thank him for letting you know. By the next day, he may not recall the conversation.

Visiting Angels professional caregivers are trained to recognize situations like these. Our knowledge and experience help families diffuse challenging situations and offer safe, calm redirection.

6. Pave the Way for a Smoother Transition

By fostering an open dialogue, family caregivers can address safety concerns collaboratively and help seniors feel valued and understood. These proactive conversations protect loved ones and strengthen relationships, ensuring everyone feels heard and supported during this important decision

Visiting Angels Can Assist

Visiting Angels supports families every step of the way when it comes to senior driving and beyond. Our compassionate, professional caregivers understand the complexities involved and can recognize signs of unsafe driving to help seniors adapt to changing needs.

From providing reliable transportation options for seniors to assisting with daily tasks, we offer personalized support that allows seniors to maintain their independence while ensuring their safety. With Visiting Angels by their side, you will be confident and assured, knowing your loved one is in caring and capable hands.