Supporting Seniors Who Refuse Help: Strategies For Loved Ones
If you have an aging loved one in your life, you may have noticed changes in their physical or cognitive abilities. Some of these changes may cause concern and lead you to realize your loved one needs additional support to continue living safely and independently.
Research suggests that nearly half of all seniors need some level of assistance by the age of 65. However, not every older adult who needs help is open to receiving it. It can be incredibly challenging to accept help for fear of a loss of independence. Others may have a sense of pride or self-sufficiency that keeps them from receiving support. Whatever the situation, there are steps you can take to encourage your loved one to consider assistance so they can stay safe.
Eight Strategies To Support Seniors Who Refuse Help
Approaching the topic of elder care with the person who needs it is best done delicately. Consider how it might feel for them. It can be easy to see the clear solution from the outside looking in, but your loved one may not even realize there are concerns or challenges that are reducing their quality of life and well-being. And if they do, it’s a difficult realization to have–knowing that you have reached the point in life where you need to rely on others to do things you’ve been doing on your own for decades. Looking at the situation from an empathetic stance will be a strong asset for you when broaching the topic of accepting care.
Consider these tips for helping a loved one feel more comfortable accepting assistance as they age.
1. Be Patient
The most important thing to remember when discussing assistance with a loved one is to remain patient. You’re not going to get your loved one to change their mind overnight. It will take time to help them understand the benefits of having help and ease their fears about letting someone assist them.
2. Give Options
Sometimes, part of the tension behind not wanting to receive help is because your loved one feels like you’re telling them what to do or trying to control their life. One way to combat that is by providing different care options, such as hiring an at-home caregiver or having a family member stop by a few times a week. There are many forms of assistance for aging loved ones, and it’s about finding one that works for you and your loved one.
3. Ask Questions
If your loved one resists help, talk to them about why they resist. You may learn that they have a specific fear or misunderstanding about what having help means. You may also discover they’re only resistant to a certain type of help, or they may feel uncomfortable with assistance from certain people. Ask questions to open a dialogue and get to the root of the resistance.
4. Start Small
Even if you feel like your loved one needs round-the-clock care, don’t jump directly to having a live-in caregiver. It’s a big change to go from living independently to having someone in your home at all times. Instead, start with small changes, such as having someone stop by once a day to help with certain tasks. Taking small steps with your loved one’s care can ease the transition.
5. Involve Them In Decisions
As much as you may want to take control of the situation, try to include your loved one in decisions about their care. Having them help you in the decision-making process allows them to keep control of their life and have some autonomy. Letting them make certain decisions can also make them feel more comfortable with their care.
6. Bring In Outside Help
Breaking down a loved one’s resistance is not something you have to do alone. If you’re lucky enough to have friends and family who want to help, bring them into the conversation and have them talk separately with your loved one. If you don’t have others to help, consider talking with your loved one’s doctor or working with a family counselor, such as the Prescott Relationship Center, to help mediate conversations.
7. Accept That They May Not Want Help
You can explain yourself, present reasonable options, include others in your decision, and essentially do everything right, but if your loved one doesn’t want help, you may have to accept that. They don’t have to change their minds, and it is their right to refuse assistance if they’re not in immediate danger.
8. Take Time For Yourself
It’s a cliche, but you can’t care for someone else if you first don’t care for yourself. Breaking down a loved one’s resistance is a process, and it’s important to ensure you’re doing what’s right for yourself. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, exercising, and spending time with friends. As hard as it is to live while you are worried about a loved one, you still need to put yourself first sometimes.
How Visiting Angels Can Help
As a locally owned and operated home care agency, we understand the strength it takes to care for an aging loved one, even more so for those who aren’t ready to accept help.
If you ever need someone to supplement your caregiving duties, our professional home care providers can offer you respite care services to help. Our caregivers can assist with light housekeeping, medication reminders, and meal preparations, all while offering companionship to your loved one. They can also provide personal care to your aging loved one through dignified grooming, dressing, showering, and toileting assistance.
Contact our Prescott office to schedule a complimentary consultation and learn more about our at-home care services.