Strategies for Caregivers Supporting Seniors Who Refuse Help

One of the most common challenges family caregivers face is when their loved one refuses help that they genuinely need. There are rational reasons for this kind of behavior, even if it isn’t always evident to those around them. An elderly person living alone may worry that once they accept support, they’ll lose their cherished independence.

If you contribute to the care of an aging parent or grandparent, you may have experienced this situation firsthand. It is particularly common when the person has dementia or struggles with emotional or psychological issues, and it can come on suddenly and take even close family members by surprise.

Tips for When Your Loved One Declines Assistance

To keep older seniors protected and comfortable, sometimes it is crucial that they receive assistance in some form before emergencies arise. It’s important to inform yourself about ways to navigate these situations, to protect yourself as well as your loved one. Once you understand the dynamics at play and better ways to address them, you will be better equipped to provide the level of care your loved one requires.

Evaluate Their Circumstances: Why Are They Resisting Help?

If you are new to this role, you both may need to do some adjusting. Take a step back and consider their circumstances with fresh eyes to determine why they are resisting help. But if you’ve been providing care and their resistance is new, perhaps some aspect of their condition has worsened. Either way, try to get an objective perspective of what is happening so you can move forward.

Become Familiar with Their Routines & Struggles

Determining the right care approach will involve getting a fairly thorough sense of the individual’s needs. Are they struggling to complete basic household activities? Maybe they’re experiencing memory issues and could use more involved care. Spend time with the senior to get a better picture of their daily life, and pay attention to any signs of physical or emotional struggle.

Understand Their Feelings

Put yourself in their shoes. After a lifetime of tending to their own responsibilities, someone else is offering to step in and take over driving, cooking meals, and other tasks. The role reversal can be especially hard when a child is now taking care of a parent. Chances are, they’re feeling embarrassed and scared of losing control. Take time to listen to their concerns and show that you understand why they’re so resistant.

Once you have a deeper understanding of their perspective, you may find things go a bit more smoothly. Even subtly adjusting your tone or language can signal that you still respect them and are just there to offer some much-needed assistance.

Get Them Involved

Your loved one deserves to be an active participant in discussions about their own care. That means having open and honest conversations about care schedules and which needs to prioritize. If you’re hiring help through a home care agency like Visiting Angels Yukon, have them meet with potential caregivers. By giving your loved one a voice in their care selection process, you’re treating them with the dignity and compassion they deserve.

Gather Support from Others

Often, older folks are more receptive to ideas when they come from people outside of their direct family. Consider having a trusted friend, neighbor, or their healthcare provider talk to them about getting the aid they need. It would be especially useful if they can chat with a fellow senior who has benefitted from a caregiver and can offer a more informed perspective.

Introduce Support Gradually

Transitioning to regularly scheduled care can be overwhelming to people at any age, so try to introduce assistance gradually if possible. If they don’t appear in imminent danger, you can begin assisting them for a few hours a week. Offer to do some light housecleaning for them. Drive them to a doctor’s appointment, and pick up their medications with them afterward.

Once they begin to see the advantages of outside assistance, they might start warming to the idea of a family or professional caregiver. After all, accepting help doesn’t mean they have to give up control. It means they can maintain their independence for longer.

Visiting Angels is Here to Help

Could you use some help introducing your senior loved one to the help they clearly need? Visiting Angels is here to provide you with support every step of the way – including through respite care services when you need a break from family caregiving duties. Schedule a free initial consultation to discuss how our services can help enhance the senior’s quality of life while allowing them to remain independent at home.

Call our office in Yukon at 405-350-6700.