How to Know When You Should Hire In-Home Help?
Robin was asked to explain how she knew when it was time to hire in-home help for her 76-year old mother living in Medford, Massachusetts. Here is her story
Tell us about your mom?
I never thought I'd have to decide whether my mom, Clara, needed professional home care. She was 76, still sharp in many ways, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right. I noticed subtle changes in her at first. She missed her dental appointment. She forgot to take her blood pressure medicine. I assumed this is just part of the normal aging process when people get old. I mean, I can be pretty forgetful too.
But then, the small things snowballed. She fell twice within a few months. The first time, she insisted she was fine, just a trip and stumble on the front porch. The second time, I found her two hours later splayed out on the kitchen floor.
She had the look of total defeat and fear in her eyes. That's when the gravity of her situation settled on me. I could only be there to help her 1 or 2 days a week, do a grocery run, and call her to check in often, but that wasn't enough to fix this.
How did you know it was time for home care services?
It wasn't an easy decision. The guilt weighed on me constantly. Was I giving up on her? Should I have tried harder to manage things myself? What would she think of me bringing in outside help? There was a certain shame I carried, admitting that I wasn't capable of doing it all. I knew that I couldn't be there every day, even though I would've liked to be. I had a full-time job, my kids, and my own life in Medford to juggle. I was stretched too thin. My mother needed real support.
Home Care Costs
Okay, so first was the thought "How was I going to pay for home care?" We weren't a wealthy family, and we didn't have a big savings account to draw from. I looked into every option—Medicare, Medicaid, long-term care insurance—but most didn't cover the kind of personalized care she needed. It was overwhelming, and I felt lost trying to figure it all out.
I began searching for home care providers in Medford, Massachusetts, online. That's when I found Visiting Angels. After researching their home care services described on the website, something clicked. They weren't just another home care agency. When I called, the care coordinator really listened to me. She asked about my mom, her needs, and what her daily routine was like.
With the details I gave her, she offered a customized care plan that I could work with and afford (she also guided me through some financial options that I didn't know about). We decided to pay for home care using some of my mom's savings or we tapped into the veteran benefits she had from my dad and that was just enough.
Measuring the Quality of Our Home Care Service
So, knowing that my mom didn't just need someone to “check in on her a few times a week” but a caregiver to help her out with everyday tasks, it was important to us that the caregiver still allow her to maintain a shred of her dignity despite needing a home aid around.
I liked how the care plan we designed wasn't a one-size-fits-all approach. I could see how the caregiver would tailor her time to focus on the things that would really improve my mom's quality of life.
The relief I felt after we started home care service was immediate. I knew my mom was safer. I knew she was with someone who cared about her. And I know our caregiver understood the strugglings of aging because she came with experience and a huge heart of gold.
How did your mom respond to her new home caregiver?
I was nervous if my mom would accept the help, or feel comfortable with her new caregiver. It took about a week before my mom told me how wonderful it was to have someone help her with things and keep her company. For the first time in a long time, I could breathe. I didn't have to worry about getting a phone call in the middle of the night saying she had fallen again.
Choosing Visiting Angels was not easy for me. But, it was the right decision. It gave my mom a chance to live comfortably in her own home. It brought me immense peace of mind.
In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have waited as long as I did to bring in home aid. So, if you're reading this in the same situation as me and wondering what to do, trust your instincts. Sometimes, the hardest decision is the best one for everyone. Your parents (or grandparent whoever in your life needs this type of help) They deserve the best care. It is okay (and maybe time) to ask for help. Visiting Angels in Medford gave my mom her independence back, and for that, I'm forever grateful.
**If you or someone you know in the Medford area who might be in need of home care services, please reach out to Visiting Angels by calling (541) 773-5002