How To Communicate Effectively With Someone Who Has Dementia

Part of what makes dementia so challenging is its impact on a person's ability to communicate. As dementia progresses, you may find your loved one struggling to concentrate, find the right words, and remember the thread of a conversation. But continued communication is vital for a person experiencing dementia because it enables them to connect with the people they love and maintain their sense of who they are. Patience, compassion, and the right strategies can help us to help them recapture the power of language and reclaim themselves.

How To Talk to Someone With Dementia

Keep in mind that dementia can affect a person's ability to communicate in a few ways. It not only affects their ability to find the right words and understand certain language, but it can also create confusion and anxiety about the current situation as they slip into times from their past.

That is why it's so important to approach conversations with your loved one with understanding, patience, and mindfulness. Think of a time when you struggled to express yourself or when a situation felt confounding to you, and recall how frustrating it was. Keep that experience in mind as you engage in conversation with your loved one, as it can help you empathize, to some extent, with what they are currently experiencing.

Also, we recommend making a point to spend enough time in conversation with your loved one. A good conversation with anyone should feel organic rather than organized, well-paced rather than rushed. You are spending time with someone you love.

And as you speak with your loved one, you, as the initiator of the conversation, might consider these techniques to facilitate the conversation:

• Make sure they are comfortable.
• Remove distractions such as the radio or television.
• Make eye contact.
• Use positive body language.
• Initiate the conversation.
• Speak slowly and clearly.
• Give them time to formulate an answer and respond.
• Acknowledge what they've said and encourage further conversation.
• Rephrase your statements if they aren't comprehending what you're saying.
• Talk about easily understandable topics.
• Use short, simple sentences.
• Mind their body language for signs of frustration or agitation.
• Speak to them with dignity.

Things to Avoid

Often, effective communication relies as much on what you don't say as on what you do. Certain phrases or attitudes in your language could confuse, frustrate, or upset your loved one because the disease has limited their capacity to process what you are saying. With that in mind, we encourage you to heed this list of don'ts when speaking with a person experiencing dementia:

• Don't tell them they're wrong about something.
• Don't argue with them.
• Don't ask whether they remember something.
• Don't remind them that their spouse, parent, or another loved one is no longer with us.
• Don't bring up topics that may upset them.
• Don't interrupt them.
• Don't be condescending.

How To Talk to Someone With Dementia Over the Phone

Many friends, family members, and family caregivers don't have the benefit of proximity to their loved one experiencing dementia. For them, the telephone is the best means of communication.

Most of the above techniques also apply to telephone conversations. Speaking slowly, speaking clearly, and demonstrating patience are still indispensable. But the telephone medium removes the advantage of nonverbal language, because you can't see them and they can't see you — at least not fully, in the case of video chatting. So enunciation, pacing, and repetition are probably more important than if you were speaking to them in person.

You may also want to listen more actively. Focus more attentively on your loved one's tone of voice so that you can detect changes in pitch that could indicate frustration or confusion about your manner of speaking, and adjust your language accordingly. Or if it's they who are struggling to speak clearly, be mindful of the importance of patience, and try to pick up on context clues to help you keep the conversation flowing.

Inclusion Is Important

A family caregiver grapples daily with keeping their loved one safe, comfortable, and healthy, so it's not uncommon to overlook the importance of making them feel included as well. Losing one's grasp on language can have an isolating effect, making one feel ever more distant from their friends and family as dementia chips away at their identity. Actively including them in conversations, activities, and experiences can do wonders for preserving their sense of belonging and making known that they remain valued among those whom they cherish.

Here are some tips for promoting the inclusion of a loved one with dementia:

• Ask them to help with light chores in and around the house, such as watering the plants.
• Ask them to tell stories from their life.
• Ask them for advice.
• Make it a point to take them to family events, like birthday parties, anniversaries, and reunions.
• Regularly write them letters and cards, and ask for correspondence in return.
• Invite their friends over for tea, coffee, and/or snacks.
• Arrange regular meals together with friends and family, even if it's just once a week.
• Do activities together, like walks around the neighborhood, drives around town, or arts and crafts at home.
• Create a memory book with them.
• Listen to music together, and talk about it.

In most cases, you will want to seek a calm, quiet, and well-lighted environment when you are including your loved one in activities. Minimizing distractions is crucial for helping them to concentrate on conversation and the nuances of the setting. Remember, too, there may be certain times in the day when your loved one is more receptive to activities and communication. Some trial and error may be necessary to find a system that works for everyone, but the fruits of your effort can be meaningful.

How We Communicate With Your Loved One

Often, a person needs just the comfort of companionship to regain their connection to the world and the people in it. Fostering that connection is part of our mission at Visiting Angels, as our caregivers strive to provide uplifting companionship and emotional support to individuals experiencing dementia. Reach out to us by calling us below or completing our online contact form. Discover how our dementia care program can empower your loved one to age in place, with dignity.